Pheobe's muse's hiding spot

Criminal minds svu xover

Fri, 16 May 2008 06:19:06 GMT

Here is a short little story. At the moment its only a one-shot but if i get some comments convincing me otherwise it could become longer. JJ/Emily and Emily/Alex from law and order svu, but you don't need to watch svu to understand it. Couple of naughty words, but not smut. I own nothing, and now the story.

The first time i fucked JJ i bit my lip as i came, to stop myself from screaming another's name. I didn't go down on her because i couldn't handle it if i tasted JJ and she tasted different to my fantasy. After i felt so dirty that i untangled my self from the blond and went to the shower. I shut my eyes and let the hot water spray over my me, and thoughts of another blond filled my head. Why did i feel like i had betrayed her? I heard the shower door open and a small body pressed against my back, when i opened my eyes i saw the blond hair on my shoulder. Before i could stop my self i whispered the name of my ghost, my fantasy, my love. I whispered Alex.

Devious Journal Entry

Fri, 01 Feb 2008 06:45:39 GMT

angel by ~homicidalmaniac69 on deviant ART

Mon, 21 Jan 2008 01:32:50 GMT

criminal minds fanfic

Mon, 31 Dec 2007 11:51:40 GMT

Ok, this is my first CM fanfiction, so if people could tell me what they think, or tell me about any errors before i post it in a community that would be great.

"Keep your private life private" I think that’s the first thing I ever learnt. Don’t let people see the real you. For years I lived like that, I didn’t tell anyone much about who I was, because they didn't need to know. Then I joined the BAU, everyone was so kind, after the initial shakiness that is. And it wasn’t long before I felt like I could really open up to these people and show them the real me. I hadn’t worked there long when JJ asked me how I did it; how I saw everything we did and didn’t flinch. I wanted to tell her, it does affect me, I go home and morn for those poor people we couldn’t save. But Hotch came in, so I made an excuse, it wouldn’t do for the boss to think I was weak. After that I tried being more open, I even told Morgan about a date I had. Then after the case we worked for my mother, my hard work was rewarded. The night we closed the case JJ showed up on my doorstep, drenched in rain. That night I told her everything. JJ showed me that it’s ok to feel, to show that you care. And for that I will always love her, and I don’t care who knows it.

i am also thinking i might do a "50 lines about JJ and Emily" i have only just started (i have 4) but i think it will be fun to write, and something new for me.

Poem

Tue, 06 Nov 2007 07:33:36 GMT

This is a little poem i wrote a little while ago, i like it. Its called past

The rain pounds down
Ghosts are all around
Memory’s from another life,
Bodies and the bloody knife.
Alone, afraid and unwanted.
Yes I was daunted.
Running from the world
A whole new one unfurled.
A second birth
Things I can’t unearth.
Memory’s hidden deep.
Only remembered in my sleep.
Hidden from public eye
My heart left alone to die.
Ghosts from the past.
Caught up to me at last.
My private torment
Exposed without consent.
Looks filled with shame
Makes my insides burn
Now I’m siting in the rain
Thinking about running again.

Mon, 01 Oct 2007 02:58:04 GMT

Hey this is my first fem-slash. Very odd and im not sure if i like it but ill let someone else deside.

Tale as old as time, true as it can be. Barely even friends, then somebody bends, unexpectedly.

We weren’t really friends and we fought more often than we went out for drinks, she thought I was there to baby sit the unit and I thought she took every case to personally. Then one night after a hard case she told me why it was she took cases personally. Then she walked me home, before she left she gave me a quick kiss. That was the first time I kissed a girl.

Just a little change small to say the least both a little scared, neither one prepared.

That small kiss was enough to set out worlds upside down. We both had thought we where straight, can a straight women feel this way about another women?

Beauty and the beast. Ever just the same, ever a surprise, ever as before. Ever just as sure as the sun will rise.

Something didn’t change. We where both stubborn, we still had times where we didn’t get along. Then there where times where we shocked each other and ourself, the first time we made love, when we moved in together. Only one thing stayed the same, our love.

Tale as old as time, tune as old as song. Bittersweet and strange, finding you can change, learning you were wrong.

Its an old story, one I have heard a million times, in books and movies. We spent more time together and we didn’t fight as much, we could admit we were wrong and we could fall in love again and again.

Certain as the sun rising in the east. Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme. Beauty and the beast.

I had never felt this way before, I never want this to change. I want to go to bed with her every night and wake up with her every morning. And this ring on my finger means she feels the same.

Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme. Beauty and the beast.

Thu, 30 Aug 2007 08:28:45 GMT

This is a story i have had for a while. AE with a tiny little bit of EO at the end lots of swearing but i feel like a needed it. Its for older readers but its not smut. enjoy and let me know what you think. BTW all my storys are oneshots and dont relate to each other.

I own nothing sadly. also i have taken some artistic liberties when it comes to time line so lets assume either Elliot left Kathy a while before they got divorced, or that Alex never left.

It started as a kiss in my office, I was fighting with him and before I knew it I was kissing him, with just as much anger and passion. We got carried away and we fucked on my desk. Instead of being disgusted when I felt the coldness of his wedding ring on my hip it turned me on.

As we got dressed I told him it was a mistake, he apologized and we kept working together like nothing had happened.

Then when I went with him after work to get a drink, I had had too much and wasn’t thinking straight so I put my hand on his thigh. When he said my name I moved my hand up and cupped him though his pants. It was empowering so I put my hand down his pants and pleasured him in a dark cop bar. I didn’t kiss him, not even when he came in my hand, there where to many people around. I went home alone that night, but I knew I would. I could never take him home and I would never go to the home he shares with his wife and there kids.

The next day I was sitting in my office when he came in and locked the door. Then he kissed me. He didn’t ask or even say hi, just kissed me. Then he put his hand up my skirt and paid me back for the night before.

That was the true start of our relationship. That’s what we had a relationship. We weren’t having an affair because I will never let myself be someone’s mistress, so I use other words...partner...Companion…fuck-buddy, just not mistress.

It went on like this for two months, we still fought but we had amazing make up sex. When he lost his cool with a child beater I sucked him off in the bathroom. I lost a motion so he went down on me in the crib. When I lost a case we fucked in the interrogation room.

After a while I started to feel like a slut when I said his name as we fucked on my desk. I felt like a home wreaking whore as he moaned my name as I sucked him off. I knew then that I couldn’t be just his masturbating toy anymore. I wanted flowers, chocolate, dinner and late night calls saying sweet nothings.

My pride wouldn’t let me tell him, so instead I avoided him. One night he came to my apartment at midnight and I pretended I wasn’t there. Later I found out he had just left his wife. We went back to being the ice queen ADA and the hot tempered detective.

Then I heard he was dating Olivia, they where keeping it from the brass so they where still partners.

I wonder if they ever fuck in interrogation, or if she’s ever sucked him off in a bathroom. I know they haven’t. To her he would be the perfect catholic gentleman. He would give her flowers and chocolate, he would take her out for dinner and call her late at night to whisper sweet nothingness’ in her ear. They have everything I ever wanted and could never have.

new fanfic

Wed, 22 Aug 2007 04:43:21 GMT

hello. i am working so hard i ended up writing a new fanfic :P i worked out that tricky LJ cut, very nice live journal, very nice. so here it is and the fic thats for older readers will be here soon too.

An Alex Elliot fic that is set before ghost. I don’t own Alex or Elliot. Do not archive.

I remember how it was

3am phone calls, court dates and working lunches

Never enough hours in the day

But know that’s what I dream of.

Now I’m never called before 9am

Court dates are instead insurance evaluations

Working lunches have become lunch dates.

I remember how we were,

Working around our jobs and lives,

Being discreet for your family.

Now I can be with him all the time,

I can walk down the street holding his hand,

But I don’t, I never can.

The ice queen is back.

I remember that day

You found me at a bar drowning my sorrows

That was the first time we had sex.

Hot, angry, wild, passionate sex.

I don’t go to bars anymore,

And now I make love,

Tame gentle, slow and caring.

I remember when I had no fear.

Now I have panic attacks because of load noises

And I cant tell anyone why.

I have to lie, so I forget Alexandra

So I become Emily

Alex wouldn’t like Emily,

Emily is boring

I remember how you were.

Strong and stubborn

My new boyfriend will do what I ask,

I find it patronizing.

You and I often disagreed,

He changes his opinion to match mine.

I wonder if he has an opinion.

The only things you two have in common are your eyes,

Electric blue that can melt my heart of ice.

I remember being with you.

Looking into your electric blue eyes,

Eyes that could pierce my soul.

Lying in your arms as you played with my hair.

You telling me you loved me.

Asking me to get of the Zapata case,

Now I wish I had.

I remember, do you?

latest fanfic

Wed, 15 Aug 2007 07:12:59 GMT

Ok this will be all for today. You dont get my other fic until i work out how to post it as its for older readers, This ones called Rely on me.
i would like to say this once and only once, i dont own any charicters. I also will often take "creative liberties" at the time of Kathy and Elliots split.

I didn’t grow up in a happy home, yes we had money but, as every fortune teller will tall you, money doesn’t buy happiness. My mother was my father’s wife, she was on his arm for public events, but they slept in different rooms. I know what the only reason they got married is, mom got pregnant and dad supported her. My dad always had mistresses, they came and went. I learnt that, unlike every other woman, my place in my father’s heart was constant. As I got older I got couldn’t understand why mom would stay with a man who didn’t love her but once, after walking in on him with his young mistress, she told me.

“I need your father so much; I will take what he can give.”

I understood then but I still thought she was weak so I promised myself that I would never need anyone, I would only rely on myself. Then I met Elliot. He was amazing, intelligent, brave and handsome; he would be perfect except the wife and four kids. The fact the he was married still didn’t stop me from kissing him; however it did make me start to apologize. I never finished that apology, his lips where back on mine. After that we would met in hotels or, occasionally, at my apartment. I often wondered when I, like my fathers mistresses, would have to move on. Eventually I would need to be with someone in public, not being a dirty little secret. Sometimes I thought back to when I saw my fathers women and I never thought I would be like that, never thought I would be the other woman, but at lest I have never relied on Elliot. Then, six months after that first kiss, I skipped my period. I took the test and got the two little blue lines that meant I was pregnant. I knew if I told Elliot he would feel obligated to leave Kathy. I didn’t want him to be with me because he felt he had to be. I also couldn’t not tell him, it would be wrong to not tell him he was going to have another child. The next time we went to a hotel after work I was still trying to work out how to tell him. I was so scared when he pushed my hands away and said,

“We have to talk” without meting my eyes.

I felt like my whole body was shaking, this was it, I wouldn’t tell him, and I wouldn’t use the baby to trap him. But then his deep voice says,

“Alex, I have left Kathy, I had no reason to stay with her and, if you will let me, I would like to be date you. I want to be with you and treat you the way you deserve to be treated”

I immediately felt like a huge weight had been lifted. He wanted me, left his wife for me, wants to treat me right. I have to tell him.

“Elliot I have to tell you, I’m pregnant.”

He looks so shocked that I just kept talking,

“if you want to leave now you can, I can do this, I can do this by my…”

“Alex” he interrupted me, “I want to be with you and I definitely want to be this baby’s dad.” Then he kisses me and wrapped his arms around me, holding me close. That’s when I realised that I want Elliot in my life forever and I want this child to know its father. Maybe it would be okay to rely on him a little.

“I love you”

“I love you too, Alex”

first fanfic

Wed, 15 Aug 2007 07:05:43 GMT

This is the first fanfiction i wrote, its a Law and Order SVU with a Alex and Elliot pairing. Its not a commen pairing i know, but i love it. Review please, be honest, if you hate it tell me. (I cant work out how this should be posted so its here for now)

When I’m home alone I think,

This is wrong, he is married

When I’m in my office I think,

This is wrong, we work together.

But now, as I lie in your arms I think,

This is right we fit perfectly.

Who gave the first signals?

And who was dumb enough to respond?

Who kissed who first?

I honesty don’t know

But I know I just kissed you.

My brain says I should end thing

But my heart just won’t let me

And for once it’s my heart I’m obeying.

Why do you come to my apartment?

And why do I let you in?

Because I need you

Do you need me?

Or do you need your wife?

Do I want an answer?

How long will this last?

Will I give you an ultimatum?

Or will you start being faithful?

I don’t know how long I can be your mistress

But I don’t know if I can live without you.

Do I want you to leave Kathy?

Hurt your children?

The answer selfishly, is yes.

Then I forget all these problems as I hear you say.

“I love you Alex and always will”

hello everybody

Wed, 15 Aug 2007 06:39:30 GMT

Hello, I'm very new here, and will be putting my wonderful Alex/Elliot svu fanfic here so look out. I also have to join some groups or communities or whatever they are called so, goodbye everybody